its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
where are my eyebrows?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize