i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
