Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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