Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
