You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
