I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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