Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
youre lurking in front of me
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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