I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
