he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize