drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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