I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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