just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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