I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
