My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
