i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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