if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize