I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
