Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
