Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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