i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
