my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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