Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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