You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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