My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
