I'm really into asian looking animals
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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