It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
