That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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