I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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