i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
