I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
