somebody snuck up and got me drunk
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
