I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
