i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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