I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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