She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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