I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Too much gin, very little bucket
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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