He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
