She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
