You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
The maid of honor just puked.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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