We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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