I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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