i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
