also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
