Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
