I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
