Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Hippo gnu deer
Just invented taco cereal.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
