I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
