so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
