big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize