my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
