UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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