GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
