Please, let me fuck your mom
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
