doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
