Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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