matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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