this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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