there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
