I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
