I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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