shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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