if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
